Which, That, Who, or Whom – Does It Really Matter?
As a writing coach, I see the same mistakes made over and over. And, the confusion with the words – which, that, who, whom – is the error I see most often, specifically when used to introduce a clause.
But does it really matter? For some people, no, it makes no difference. While misusing these terms makes it harder for readers to understand your writing, it is not the worst mistake you can make. However, it is easily corrected once you know the rules, and it adds polish to your writing. Think of it as cleaning up your code, wiping extra spills from a plate before serving a customer, or removing paint splatters from the floor. None of those are necessary, but they add a finishing touch. It’s taking pride in your work. So, for those reading this post, yes, it should matter.
Most people want rules to follow so that they don’t have to think about which word to use. With that in mind, let’s dive in.
Who
I address “who” first because it is the most straightforward when compared to “which” and “that.” Now, some people will say that who versus whom is difficult, and I agree. But honestly, in today’s writing, whom is used less frequently. I discuss “whom” next, so hold tight!
“Who” is used only for people. It is really that simple.
Example 1
Incorrect: I need someone that can coach me on my writing.
Correct: I need someone who can coach me on my writing.
Someone is a person, so you must use “who.”
Example 2
Incorrect: Tina texted Beth, which is her best friend.
Incorrect: Tina texted Beth that is her best friend.
Correct: Tina texted Beth, who is her best friend.
Correct: Tina texted Beth who is her best friend.
This example points out that whether introducing a dependent or independent clause, using who is the correct answer because it refers to Beth, who is human.
Pretty easy to remember, right? Well…
Some people use “who” for animals. Personally, I don’t, but as I always say, decide on a rule and stick to it.
Whom
This post’s goal is to decide between “which, that, or who” when introducing a clause, but while we are on the subject of “who,” I want to discuss the age-old question of, “Do you use ‘who or whom’?” The word whom frightens many writers for no reason. Maybe our grammar school teachers didn’t understand the differences either because a straightforward rule exists to determine when to use who or whom.
I vs Me
Remember the rule of deciding between “I” or “me” after the word “and”?
Example 3 – Quiz
George and I/me will go to the movies tomorrow.
The pizza is for Trina and I/me.
The dog recognizes Pat and I/me.
Example 3 – Intermediary step
All you have to do is remove the “XXX and,” then insert “I/me” and see which one sounds better.
I/me will go to the movies tomorrow.
The pizza is for I/me.
The dog recognizes I/me.
Example 3 – Answer
George and I will go to the movies tomorrow.
The pizza is for Trina and me.
The dog recognizes Pat and me.
I: Subject of a sentence
Me: Object of a preposition or verb
George and I will go to the movies tomorrow.
I is the subject.
The pizza is for Trina and me.
Me is the object of the preposition “for.”
The dog recognizes Pat and me.
Me is the object of the verb “recognize.”
Who vs Whom
Just like I/me, who/whom are defined parts of speech. By the way, whoever and whomever follow the same rules.
Who: Subject of a sentence, just like “I”
Whom: Object of a preposition or verb, just like “me”
I = who and me = whom
So, use the same test that you did for I/me.
Example 4 – Quiz
Who/Whom will go to the movies tomorrow?
The pizza is for who/whom?
The dog recognizes who/whom?
Example 4 – Intermediary step
I/Me will go to the movies tomorrow.
The pizza is for I/me.
The dog recognizes I/me.
Example 4 – Answer
Who will go to the movies tomorrow?
The pizza is for whom? For whom is the pizza? Whom is the pizza for?
The dog recognizes whom? Whom does the dog recognize?
At this point, you only need to practice. So, here you go! Determine if the sentences are correct as written. The answers are below.
Who are you calling?
Who should I say is calling?
The boy whom stuck his finger in the dike saved the village.
Who drove the truck?
I will give the pie to whomever.
I will give the pie to whomever arrives first.
Answers:
Incorrect. You is the subject, so who is the object of the verb. Therefore, it should be whom. Correct: Whom are you calling?
Correct. In this case, “should I say” is unnecessary, so the sentence is actually Who is calling? Who is the subject.
Incorrect. In this case, whom is the subject of the verb stuck, so use who. Correct: The boy who stuck his finger in the dike saved the village.
Correct. Who is the subject.
Correct. Whomever is the object of the preposition to.
Incorrect. Okay, so this one is trickier. While whomever comes after a preposition, it is actually the subject of the verb arrives. So, you must use whoever. Correct: I will give the pie to whoever arrives first.
Which vs That
After the slight detour of “who vs whom,” let’s return to the discussion of introducing clauses. We know that if the phrase refers to a person, then use “who.” Now, the only question is whether to use “which or that.” And, I’m happy to say that my rule is straightforward.
Which is used to introduce a nonessential clause, meaning that the information can be left out without altering the meaning of the sentence. I always set these clauses off by commas.
That introduces an essential clause, containing information that if removed would alter the meaning of the sentence. I never use commas around these clauses.
Example 5
The apple that I left on the counter is rotten.
The apple, which I left on the counter, is rotten.
In the first sentence, by using that, we know the clause contains essential information, i.e., there is more than one apple. The author felt it necessary to include that detail.
In the second sentence, the author does not convey that the information is important.
Example 6
Move the trash container that is inside the garage to the curb tonight.
Move the trash container, which is inside the garage, to the curb tonight.
In the first case, the speaker must identify where the trash container is, perhaps because there is more than one or maybe the person is unfamiliar with the surroundings.
In the second version, the author merely provides the extra details, but the information is nonessential, conceivably because the person takes the trash out every week.
As for the commas, you know how important they are to me! I like to establish rules and follow them because it makes for clean and easy-to-understand writing. By setting the nonessential clause off by commas, it is easy to remove it from the sentence to determine if the meaning of the sentence remains. Using the comma also makes it easier for readers to digest the information.
U.K. vs U.S. English
In British English, which and that are often used interchangeably.
Conclusion
Again, choosing the correct word is not a matter of life or death but rather a finishing touch to your writing. I will say that I cringe every time I read the following request:
I need an editor that can correct all the grammar issues.
I’m a person! Please use who. The life of an editor and writing coach…
If you have any helpful tips or specific questions, let me know if the comments below!